Spectacular stolen items of interest
I read in a religion news blog that The Holy Bible is the most shoplifted book. Heavens to Murgatroid! -what’s up with that? Does this statistic include Gideon providers? Do thieves who steal Bibles consider this act by hook or crook to be above the Ten Commandments? Whose lead are they following for this unseemly act to be manifesting itself in our country? Are they romanticizing that if they are caught pocketing hallowed verses the original owner will instantaneously absolve them? Has anybody ever gone to jail for copping a Bible? Apparently so. In addition, the Dead Sea scrolls were reportedly stolen at some point from a Jewish Synagogue. I wonder if this statistic somehow stacks up differently for blessed books of the Koran.
Soonafter I speculated over these underlying thievery causes, Slate published an article proclaiming that meat is the most purloined supermarket item in
Both our first and last Presidents have been involved in petty larcenies. George Washington’s old wallet was pinched in 1990 from an unlocked cabinet in
Another popular harmless prank involves the mysterious “borrowing” of somebody’s precious trinket or doll and then taking it for a trip around the world on adventures it would never otherwise had, by glumly stagnating in an unused toy box. This has happened several times. The protocol is for the traveler to take as many photographs as possible from faraway exotic lands with the doll placed in front of recognizable landmarks. After a spell, the doll is returned in the wee hours one morning, holding a satchel stuffed abundantly full of photographs, showing off its masterful adventures.
Then the perpetrator fesses up after forty years or so.
Huck Finn’s pap once said it was okay to borrow a watermelon –as long you intended to pay it back. Onliest thing is that Huck 'disremembers' ever recompensating any farmers. I suppose we are all borrowing these days with technology stolen from the Mythos, with the miracle of Google, instant messaging from Hermes, laser beams to heal or destroy, MRI’s and nanotechnology, ships of the sky and magic sticks which thrust open doors for us of various sorts.
Let me make it perfectly clear that I am not advocating that anybody actually steal anything. Far from it. In fact, a friend recently had his entire CD music collection swiped out his house. Most of the tunes were from twenty-five years ago –an era when more songs were written about peace, love and understanding –before the popularity of cop-killing and gangbanging songs stole much of that away. I sometimes wonder, does the person who stole my friend’s collection enjoy listening to Carol King, Steve Miller and Arlo Guthrie, knowing that every rocking rhythm was robbed? I pray that one of those pilfered bibles out there freely circulating will serendipitously appear in the crook's cache to reveal a new dimension of thievery, so that they may rediscover their unmitigated hearts and tiptoe back onto his porch to return my friend's peacenik C.D.s.
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Review of hyperlinks used: Thieves go for Bible, but ignore Ten Commandments