Springtime predictions from the animal world

2009 version

Plenty of Idaho criers have warned about  about the wolves being dangerous, but it’s still more perilous to cross the human highway than it is to waltz out one of our yodeling canyons.

With this menace in mind, I consulted with my oracle: John Cougar Mellowcat, who kindly channeled for us, some other spring-fever animal predictions:

Besides the wolf this year, its predicted rattlers will be more docile. Good time, to gather some snapping worms for dynamic fishing. 

Badger’s are lonelier and will need more human-applied scruffs behind their fuzzy ears.

Local cubby-bears will rise up with great desire for thick elderberry mead, so please baste your grease buckets and leave them warmly wafting under West Ketchum birdfeeders. 

Albino deer appreciate late season snows and hope Baldy stays open through Memorial Day.

Increasing numbers of aged cougars will descend from the Elkhorn hills to infiltrate nearly-innocents at the dew-daw room. 

Butterflies will continue to flaunt their illegal ignoring of voter district lines.

While Mormon crickets will continue their selfless mission of filling in Highway 20’s potholes, positively chirping beetles will munch over Galena pass, making the area more avalanche-prone, which will lead to a receptive public outcry for a safety-beacon cell tower on the hill.

Wise hoot owls will continue being mostly serious, and make gains towards unraveling unsolved mysteries. 

Local dogs will continue worming their way into local hearts, while an ahead-of-the-curve ISU scientist will uncover compelling canine evidence that they sometimes laugh at us silly cats.

2019 version
 

Plentiful Idaho criers warn of dangerous wolves, but ‘tis more perilous to cross  human highway, than to waltz out slow Yodeling Canyon.

With this menace in mind I consult an oracle: John Cougar Mellowcat, who ferverishly channels some other spring animal predictions:

Besides the wolf this year, he predicts rattlers will become docile. This prime snapping worm gathering time will bring gains to dynamic fishing.

Badger’s become more lonesome, requiring human hand scruffs behind fuzz ears.

Local cubs rise up with desire for thick elderberry mead, so baste grease buckets, leaving them wafting beneath Ketchum birdfeeders.

Albino deer appreciate late season snows, with high hopes for Baldy to remain operable through Memorial Day.

Increasingly aged cougars descend from Elkhorn hills to infiltrate near-innocents at the Peter Duchin room.

Butterflies continue flaunting their illicit ignorance of voter district lines.

Mormon crickets will continue with their selfless mission for filling in Highway 20 potholes.

Positively hungry chirp beetles munch over Galena pass, creating avalanche proneness, which leads to receptive public outcries for increased safety-beacon cells.

Hoot owls continue being wisely serious, making great gains toward unraveling mysteries.

Local dogs will worm their way into local hearts, while an ahead-of-the-curve ISU scientist unearths compelling canine evidence, they sometimes laugh with us silly cats.

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