Wildest Nature and Amazing Animals - select readings

 

• Crows don't forget a face
• Mosquitoes Kill More Humans Than Human Murderers Do
• In the eye of the beholder
• Stikiness
• Behind the Scenes at the National Zoo With the World’s Most Dangerous Bird
• Meet The Indian Giant Squirrel That Looks Like A Dr. Seuss Concoction
• The Extraordinary Life of the Freed Slave Who Taught Darwin Taxidermy
• The Vital and Surprising Role of Driftwood
• Twenty-six Real Animals That Shouldn’t Exist, But Do Anyway
• A Gift of Nature
• All but ageless, Turtles face their biggest threat: Humans
• All dogs go to heaven
• Animal world's communication kings
• Are they Ravens or Crows?
• Clint Eastwood versus Mr. Ed
• Collars Reveal Just How Extreme Cheetahs Can Be
• In an NC swamp, researcher finds tree older than Christianity. Could there be more?
• Interview with Sir David Attenborough
• Lyre Birds imitate construction work sounds and chainsaws
• Meet The Brown Bear Serving A Life Sentence In A Kazakh Prison
• Moment in Nature - Idaho Hot Springs
• North American birds interactive migration map
• Obscure mountain ranges of southern Idaho, NW Utah, and Eastern Nevada
• Swarm of bees follow grandmother's car for over 24 hours attempting to rescue their queen
• Vultures of Pennsylvania: Black vs. turkey, their differences and similarities
• Why nightingales are snubbing Berkeley Square for the Tiergarten
• Why Scientists Are Starting to Care About Cultures That Talk to Whales
• Wildest Nature
• Woman keeps same pet tortoise for 56 years
• World's Tallest Man Saves Dolphin

Springtime predictions from the animal world

2009 version

Plenty of Idaho criers have warned about  about the wolves being dangerous, but it’s still more perilous to cross the human highway than it is to waltz out one of our yodeling canyons.

With this menace in mind, I consulted with my oracle: John Cougar Mellowcat, who kindly channeled for us, some other spring-fever animal predictions:

Besides the wolf this year, its predicted rattlers will be more docile. Good time, to gather some snapping worms for dynamic fishing. 

Badger’s are lonelier and will need more human-applied scruffs behind their fuzzy ears.

Local cubby-bears will rise up with great desire for thick elderberry mead, so please baste your grease buckets and leave them warmly wafting under West Ketchum birdfeeders. 

Albino deer appreciate late season snows and hope Baldy stays open through Memorial Day.

Increasing numbers of aged cougars will descend from the Elkhorn hills to infiltrate nearly-innocents at the dew-daw room. 

Butterflies will continue to flaunt their illegal ignoring of voter district lines.

While Mormon crickets will continue their selfless mission of filling in Highway 20’s potholes, positively chirping beetles will munch over Galena pass, making the area more avalanche-prone, which will lead to a receptive public outcry for a safety-beacon cell tower on the hill.

Wise hoot owls will continue being mostly serious, and make gains towards unraveling unsolved mysteries. 

Local dogs will continue worming their way into local hearts, while an ahead-of-the-curve ISU scientist will uncover compelling canine evidence that they sometimes laugh at us silly cats.

2019 version
 

Plentiful Idaho criers warn of dangerous wolves, but ‘tis more perilous to cross  human highway, than to waltz out slow Yodeling Canyon.

With this menace in mind I consult an oracle: John Cougar Mellowcat, who ferverishly channels some other spring animal predictions:

Besides the wolf this year, he predicts rattlers will become docile. This prime snapping worm gathering time will bring gains to dynamic fishing.

Badger’s become more lonesome, requiring human hand scruffs behind fuzz ears.

Local cubs rise up with desire for thick elderberry mead, so baste grease buckets, leaving them wafting beneath Ketchum birdfeeders.

Albino deer appreciate late season snows, with high hopes for Baldy to remain operable through Memorial Day.

Increasingly aged cougars descend from Elkhorn hills to infiltrate near-innocents at the Peter Duchin room.

Butterflies continue flaunting their illicit ignorance of voter district lines.

Mormon crickets will continue with their selfless mission for filling in Highway 20 potholes.

Positively hungry chirp beetles munch over Galena pass, creating avalanche proneness, which leads to receptive public outcries for increased safety-beacon cells.

Hoot owls continue being wisely serious, making great gains toward unraveling mysteries.

Local dogs will worm their way into local hearts, while an ahead-of-the-curve ISU scientist unearths compelling canine evidence, they sometimes laugh with us silly cats.

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A seven year itch

Does the person with the worst crisis win?

I understand I have a choice with how I react to harsh criticism and being a frequent contributor of letters of public interest, I’ve developed some thick skin. Every seven years though that skin gets a bad itch, which compels me to scratch it with a formal response.

*

Most recently, I shared some observations of how a day of overwhelming events culminated in enough angst that I sought out a (800) 273-TALK (8255) crisis line. My hope was that by sharing this personal experience that others would follow suit in their own times of dire need, because those emergency dispatchers were so kind and understanding with me. 

*

Yet some readers said they couldn’t emphasize with me and tried to belittle me for my inconsequential stuck elevator story. I first wondered if they hadn’t read it thoroughly, because I referred to my event with a fitting disclaimer as an ‘oxymoronic minor emergency.’ Minor emergencies of course are those that happen to the other guy. Then I wondered if perhaps their cynical viewpoint was part of a societal failure, because after all even EckhartTolle says, “About 80 to 90 percent of most people’s thinking is not only repetitive and useless, but because of its dysfunctional and often negative nature, much of it is also harmful. Observe your mind and you will find this to be true.”
*

Perhaps if I share more of what led up to my panic, understanding trolls will hand out a mulligan: That summer, I lost three close friends, with another in the hospital for a month. Someone who owed me $1,000 left town. My work truck broke down 3 times with expensive repairs. I experienced a mini-stroke (another minor emergency?) and couldn’t afford treatment. And then a neighbor’s unsettled dog attacked me, busting my eyeglasses - all of which I carried into the elevator that hot day.

The Blueberry of Angryness

I got bit by a neighbor’s dog over the weekend.

 I was walking out of the shed, and as my back was turned, Blueberry sprinted out from the dog door, gained an amazing vertical leap, and sunk a couple of fangs into my shoulder. This is the first time I have experienced a dog bite for almost forty years. The last time was on my Washington Post paper route over on Swinton Drive in Kings Park West, where a dog ran out from one of the few houses that did not receive the paper, jumped up and nipped me in the midsection, and then dashed back inside the house, where the woman would not answer the door to address my complaint!

Maybe, I let my guard down this time, as I did have a confident record of working as a meter reader for seven years, entering thousands of customer yards with dogs, and although there were a few close calls over that long span, I never got bit once.

It comes largely as an emotional shock, as I had been imagining for a long while, that as much as I am fond of most dogs and enjoy their company, that greater and noble dog-manity was loyally by my side.

It’s true that Blueberry, the dog that bit me, has a sketchy past and a questionable upbringing. But I have been communicating with him much over the past year or two, in the kindest voice and intentions that I could muster up. Now, I’m finding this incident to be disconcerting.

When incidents like these happen, I often turn to the Animal Medicine cards, to see if I can gain a bit of wisdom from there. In this particular case, it feels fitting to examine the card from the contrary position. I haven’t looked at it yet, but my stronger intuition is saying that maybe now is not a good time to turn my back on someone who I believe is aloyal friend, and then be deceived.

Let’s see now what it really says:

http://scottfoglesong.printandwebdesign.com/14-dog.pdf

Probing intensely for medicinal porpoises

Jim Banholzer

Our sagacious Psychology instructor at CSI served up a recent quandary to “headucate” our class. She caught us off guard asking, “Those of you who are for conducting scientific experiments on animals, please raise you hands.” About half the hands flew up, like chickens winging it to higher tiered henhouses. Then she asked, “How many of you are against this?” About two hands flew up. Several of us had not voted so class members asked for a recount. Our instructor continued, stating, “You are either for animals getting pricked and prodded or you’re against it.” I was dumbfounded and responded, “Well it depends on what you’re testing them for.” I raised a half-voting hand and held the other strongly to the floor, claiming that I was both for and against farming out animal experiments, contingent on the circumstances. Then I blurted out, How about testing for the positive effects of massage on dolphins? I’m all for that. Or on horses? There are people up here in Sun Valley, who massage horses, of course.

I carried these thoughts home in the twilight, thinking about what other constructive tests we should be conducting on our animal cousins. How about a chart correlating the snapping-dog drop off ratio for meter readers who establish outstanding relationships with pups via freely extending belly rubs and pats on the head?

How about lobbying your powerful congressperson to demolish those darned river dams blocking salmon’s progress? A resurgence of thriving salmon would release sea lions waiting at the mouth of the Snake from culpability. Now there’s an experiment I’d like to see. One year later, conduct physical tests from remote sensors, to inspect the sea lions and check to see how their population is thriving.

Purify the nectar for hummingbird feeders to a higher level, by aerating it back and forth between two glasses. Place regular sugar water (with the recommended essential vitamins) in a second feeder, then have a first-grade class observe them, while scribing in living color their dialectically determined judgments on which of the hummingbirds groups have the most uplifting flights of fancy.

Teaching a bird to parrot John Cleese skits. My hypothesis is that birds of a different color like these will sense the high level of humor they bring into their owners lives will thrive on average three years longer than the control group of non-humorous squawkers.

More novel research:

Invite a dog to bounce on one of those safe newfangled ground level trampolines. Toss him biscuits in the air, while loudly playing a Yogi Berra audio tape in the background. Record the frequency of biscuits caught compared to same efforts on empty stomachs without Berra’s coaching voice.

Smiling at birds. Plant an apple tree in your yard. Water frequently. Do not prune the tree for 37 years, so that the tiny Macintoshes will become unwanted by humans, but much desired by late winter bohemian waxwings passing through the area. Dress warm, quench your own thirst with a draught of strong apple cider, and then sit stonelike in a strategic chair adjacent to the fermented apples. Make no quick moves, but practice smiling as broadly as possible in the bright sunshine, making clear eye contact with as many birds as possible. Report results.

Animal tests like these, I’m all for it, actually.

Leaving a tribute for the ants. For homes that have problems with ant infestations. Rather than spraying poisons throughout your house, leave a little food every morning in a far corner of the yard –away from the dwelling. See if this has any affect. Also, have the kids inspect the ants to see if they can locate any dawdlers or does every ant seem like it’s on a serious mission?

Toward the end of our class period, my instructor turned to me and said, “and you there you young whippersnapper” (about the nicest thing I’ve heard all year), “just keep up that critical thinking of yours!”