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Wednesday, July 25, 2007


The Day that Earl came around




One perfectly sunny day, the Sun Valley workers came home to a rotting sea of smashed wood and brick. Their humble dorms were completely turned to smithereens and nobody knew what was going on.



However, there was a huge white tent standing across the street.



Earl hit a button on his remote control and Wally, dressed in a green Emerald Wizard costume, thrust open the curtain.



Boy Howdy!” Shouted the crowd in unison.



Yepper, said Wally, This cheer’s your new home.



It was better than Googleplex.



Each tenant now had a full house and was going to be paid to housesit it.



Wally tugged on a cable, which revealed mini-gondolas coming out from each house to intersect with the main Baldy Gondola.



Earl himself drove by in a Sinclair tanker and tooted the horn.



Everybody cheered Earl, even louder than he had been imagining their cheers, before his transmogrification of good will towards the dispossessed.




~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~



Act two:



The electricity flickered out at Allen & Company. This reduced Sergey Brin and Rupert Murdoch to a game of marbles.



Stakes were raised to a million bucks a shot. And Rupert was about to ice the game.



Suddenly, someone thought to test Rupert’s marbles for magnetism and he tested positive.



This was a worse sin then testing positive for steroids at the Tour De France.



Rupert stood before the intimidating judge, and was handed down his sentence.



He was given the choice of manning the Gondola for the newly goldenized dorm workers or dispensing spit-chew canisters at Sun Valley Drug.



Rupert chose The Drug Store, thinking he could sneak-peak a gander at Paris Hilton in one of his magazines in between sandwiches.



The judge saw right through this and put Rupert on triple secret probation, where he stands as an untoppled statue today.

3 comments:

myselfmyownenemy said...

rupert "the squirrel" never made a better deal

FlossSawtooths said...

i think i saw that tent.
who is earl?

yammering daydreamer said...

As for wondering who Earl is, I think greenvanholzer is holding out on us...

... and as for the tent, I thought they were only used in Sun Valley to shelter the tasters of jeroboams of wine offered for princely sums...

(but then, what do I know? The "-ex" in my watch brand begins not with "roll", but with time...)