Men and Women
A California women says her husband is at the dangerous age when all females look alike to him - desirable.
The best way to win an argument with a woman is to hit her over the head with a new mink coat.
Never argue with a women. You might win - and then you'll really be in trouble.
Never start an argument with a women when she is tired - or when she's rested.
A bachelor in Denver advertised for a wife in a newspaper: "Bachelor with waterbed desires to meet a nice hard-working girl with short toenails."
Nothing confuses a man more than driving behind a woman who does everything right.
If a man tells a woman she's beautiful, she'll overlook most of his other lies.
He loved a girl so much he worshiped the very ground her father discovered oil on.
A timid man said to his wife, "We're going out tonight and that's semi-final."
Man can control everything except a woman and a hurricane.
Most men have a way with women, but it's seldom their own.
No woman has to twist a man's arm when she can wrap him around her finger.
A woman likes a man best who has a will of his own - made out in her name.
The man who owes it all to his wife seldom pays her back.
An optimist is a young man who hurries because he thinks his date is ready and waiting for him.
It does not take a very bright woman to dazzle some men.
Even if a man could understand women he still wouldn't believe it.
Anybody who thinks this is a man's world is probably not too bright about other things either.
If this is a man's world it's because women don't want it.
- From 14,000 Quips and quotes for Writers & Speakers by E.C. McKenzie