Men and Women

A California women says her husband is at the dangerous age when all females look alike to him - desirable. 

The best way to win an argument with a woman is to hit her over the head with a new mink coat.

Never argue with a women. You might win - and then you'll really be in trouble.

Never start an argument with a women when she is tired - or when she's rested.

A bachelor in Denver advertised for a wife in a newspaper: "Bachelor with waterbed desires to meet a nice hard-working girl with short toenails."

Nothing confuses a man more than driving behind a woman who does everything right. 

If a man tells a woman she's beautiful, she'll overlook most of his other lies.

He loved a girl so much he worshiped the very ground her father discovered oil on. 

A timid man said to his wife, "We're going out tonight and that's semi-final."

Man can control everything except a woman and a hurricane. 

Most men have a way with women, but it's seldom their own.

No woman has to twist a man's arm when she can wrap him around her finger.

A woman likes a man best who has a will of his own - made out in her name. 

The man who owes it all to his wife seldom pays her back. 

An optimist is a young man who hurries because he thinks his date is ready and waiting for him.

It does not take a very bright woman to dazzle some men. 

Even if a man could understand women he still wouldn't believe it.

Anybody who thinks this is a man's world is probably not too bright about other things either.

If this is a man's world it's because women don't want it. 

- From 14,000 Quips and quotes for Writers & Speakers by E.C. McKenzie