another bit of old commentary uncovered:

Piping Warm Dreams for the Alaskan Caribou

Now that it’s springtime in the Rockies, the wild North American Caribou have made it through another rough winter. In Alaska though, an early meltdown of 250,000 gallons of crude oil sprung through a pipe -raining down onto these Reindeer. With more pipes, being dreamed about being installed way up yonder; I remembered what George H.W. Bush said of the 900-mile oily tube: “The Caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou than you can shake a stick at.”

I told this in jest to one of my three best men. A grizzled man who had labored hard in Alaska and had on occasion whispered to the caribou. He said, “It’s true, they really do nuzzle against the warm pipeline”

Shazam! So once again our President was right. Just like when Reagan said that trees cause pollution. How we all laughed then. Turns out Reagan was correct too. According to this study in Telegraph News, trees do cause smog!

What’s next I wonder? Will a Bush administration appointed nutritionist notify us that our bodies need more uranium minerals? That these radioactive dusts blowing about in the sands of earth will give us a better glow?

Maybe while Cheney is shaking a fiery stick at the Caribou on an oil frontier map in the background, Scott McClellen will be caught whispering the truth for once -into a thought to be off-mike that captures him saying about the White House press corps, “Hell a spoonful of uranium will be perfect for these fool robots, That’s what they all are anyhoo, all except for Helen Thomas.