John Cougar Mellowcat’s springtime animal predictions
With this menace in mind, I consulted with my oracle: John Cougar Mellowcat, who kindly channeled for us, some other spring-fever animal predictions:
Besides the wolf this year, its predicted rattlers will be more docile. Good time, to gather some snapping worms for dynamic fishing.
Badger's are lonelier and will need more human-applied scruffs behind their fuzzy ears.
Local cubby-bears will rise up with great desire for thick elderberry mead, so please baste your grease buckets and leave them warmly wafting under
Albino deer appreciate late season snows and hope Baldy stays open through Memorial Day.
Increasing numbers of aged cougars will descend from the
Butterflies will continue to flaunt their illegal ignoring of voter district lines.
While Mormon crickets will continue their selfless mission of filling in Highway 20's potholes, positively chirping beetles will munch over
Wise hoot owls will continue being mostly serious, and make gains towards unraveling unsolved mysteries.
Local dogs will continue worming their way into local hearts, while an ISU scientist will uncover compelling canine evidence that they sometimes laugh at us silly cats.