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Saturday, December 17, 2011

Deploy drones to quash unlawful cigarettes

I read with great interest about how Boise plans to employ an extensive New Years resolution to forbid smoking in city parks. Taking this new law in conjunction with how our military industrial complex has recently started to promote drones for better homeland security, this synchronicity offers perfect timing to suggest a test case for Boise.

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How about setting aside one legal smoking park, with the provision that if you light up, you are subject to becoming sprayed by a drone equipped with a laser guided squirt-gun? Such a daring theme park would likely attract copious visitors and tourists. The stimulating park would also help drone operators develop better fighting skills, with the use of live volunteers under realistic conditions. Shooting a live cigarette out of a patriotic smoker’s mouth without making him all wet, could lead to a special Clint Eastwood citation.

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As these machines become more sophisticated and robust, eventually the men behind the drone curtains, will be able to parlay simple skills learned from precisely squirting out stinky cigars and pipes into tremendous forest fighting capabilities, as well as finding lost and bewildered backcountry enthusiasts, and other good deeds not yet dreamed about.

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