Safe driving awards

The City Manager paid a rare visit to the property yard for his annual presentation. His assistant held a shiny black briefcase full of certificates. Each employee who had not been in a wreck that year was called up front and handed a $30 savings bond. However, they made a mistake or two:

Although Leon had been crash-free for twelve months, they forgot to call his name. Not only that, but Jasper, who had flipped his trailer high-speed around Hickory Hill only a few weeks previous was grandly awarded the thirty bucks.

As the ceremony wound down, Leon quizzically shouted at the manager, “In other words, you’re saying we can wreck the trucks!” The City Manager replied, “I certainly hope that’s not what I’m saying.” It was another Cherry Creek Chronicle photo op gone awry – just like in the previous year, when the safety manager Richard Parker came to lead a meeting and then learned the hard way about the shortcomings of the city employees handling of radioactive materials as well as the big vat of hydrochloric acid poured straight down their own sewerage system after being used to clean water meters.

Lord, God, they better pray that the black plague or the Ebola virus never hits that city with its poor history of unpreparedness.