More March Madness

He Hi Heh heah ona ri!

Translated: He hit his head on the rim

Old English Alternate:

Sir Valliant dashed his gallant crown upon the sacred rim-sphere.

Watching the recent NBA dunk contest brought some basketball running back through my veins again. After all, I lived and breathed basketball for about 4 leap years; the equivalent of how long newspaper ink has now been running through my blood.

Perhaps Tiss can remind me again, who the star prospect was that 1976 summer afternoon in Washington D.C.’s Police Boys Club #9 that while dunking a basketball, nearly smacked his head upon the rim. As I recall some poor kid wearing a sock for a hat, sitting in the bleachers, jumped up himself and pointed with rapturous glee, “He Hi Heh heah ona ri!”

We used to think that this was impossible; after all, a six-foot tall man would require a 48-inch vertical leap. Even a seven footer would need to peep up 36 inches and there was usually not occasion for him to do so right under the rim, during the course of a regular ball game. If it was possible, there were very few who could achieve this. Wilt Chamberlain, Bob Beamon, Dick Fosbury, David Thompson, and Gus Johnson, maybe a few others. Even when tall guys like Gheorghes Muresan and Manute Bol came along, it seemed that there was almost some sort of built in safety factor, keeping them from ever needing to be at a level where their head would risk danger from hitting the rim.

Same thing with Robert Wadlow, I mean the dude was nine feet tall already. Besides rescuing young lads stranded balloons from dangerous ceilings fans, what important cause was there for him to need leap up another foot?