Friday, March 07, 2008

Singing with the Admiral in Alaska

Admiral Mussorsky declared that he would be playing Bach over the sonar tonight, to tickle the Narwhal’s delight.

“Has he gone mad?” asked the first mate.

“I’m not sure and I’m not sure that there’s anything we can do about it,” said Gilligan, “But the admiral was swearing in the bar last night that he would do this by the end of the week, if that old Exxon Valdez case wasn’t settled. Sort of a way to settle the score to pay back the whales and minnows for all their grief.”

Gilligan continued, “As I recall, Captain John Hazelwood, became tipsy by drinking 100 O’Doul’s in a twenty-four hour span. He fell over and wrecked the skip fantastic, just as his last chorus of ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, came to a crashing close.”

“This is why the Admiral is pissed.”

“Admiral Mussorsky said that he has a rare recording of Albert Schweitzer performing Bach, I heard the accompanying tubular bells coming from his cabin, late last night, after the bar closed.”

“Now he’s down there tinkering with the sonar, applying his best Bach to treat the whale underworld.”

“Personally,” said Gilligan, “I hope that nobody mutinies, and that this will be a nice neuroacoustic change for them. Much better than the Zappa, we’ve been zapping them with.”

No comments: