Friday, March 18, 2016

Re: What is your first Internet Experience?

Postby Schmazo » Thu Mar 17, 2016 11:03 pm
Around twenty autumns ago, before I even had a clue about what surfing the Internets is, my friend 3V3T2 who is a computer guru snapped a few photos of me while I was donning a six-foot long blond wig while sipping beer next to a campfire. (I'm a large man.)

I had purchased the blond wig earlier that week at a local thrift store for 3 bucks, and with Halloween soon approaching I thought owning it held potential for a some good laughs or a prank.

A few months later, in the middle of winter 3V3T2 invited me into his office to watch some football playoffs. While there, he booted his computer up and during halftime exclaimed, "Schmazo, you really need to check out this website."

It was a site called something like "Am I a hottie or not?" and as we scrolled through the photos you could see a variety of profile pictures. They had women's and men's categories and you could vote on each photo by clicking anywhere from 1 to 10.

I looked at the women featured for a few minutes. There were some good looking women, but since it was a new invention it appeared that the limited amount of random photos would repeat themselves after a few minutes.

Meanwhile, the second half of the Redskins game was starting and I started to turn from the computer to the television programme, but 3V3T2 persuasively insisted that I keep looking at the photos, because there was this really great looking chick who hadn't come up yet that I would enjoy seeing.

And then it happened: I sat there stunned seeing a photo of myself wearing that blond wig by the campfire on the World Wide Web for all to see! On top of that he had listed me in the Women's category, and with the compilation of votes I was rated as a mere "2."

I glared at Steve in the mirror laughing at me, and I do remember laughing a bit at myself as well: but mostly I remember exclaiming, "THANKS FOR PUTTING MY PICTURE ON THE INTERNET, DICK!" :shock2:

For a few weeks after that trying to be a good sport, I went into his office sometimes to see what my rating had gained on the world hottie circuit. Then, I found that I could vote for myself and experimented with giving myself some tens. But this never seemed to raise the rating much.

After a few weeks I figured out that instead of waiting for my profile photo to come up randomly, I could cheat by clicking the back button and then vote for myself quickly again with another 10. But even with that effort, I never could raise my rating above 2.9. Seems other forces of judging beauty were against me. :lol2:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Luckily, my photo now seems to have been expunged from the permanent record. I've looked around a few times in depth too, but can't seem to find me: ... 24&bih=653

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