Sharing
a money-laundering recipe
Draft 2
Ten years ago, a Clark County, Nevada investigation showed
that a Vegas clinic was not using clean syringe procedures, which over a
four-year period contaminated dozens of anesthesia patients with incurable
hepatitis C. This was odd and unsettling, especially since Las Vegas is
the same city where casinos and hotels often offer to help clean your money.
When did we start giving sanitized money a higher priority than we do to our medical
patients?
More recently, another news item indicated
that prison inmates often conceal illicit money in ways that exposes it to
contagious diseases. With filthy money in troublesome mind plus flu season
approaching, it would be refreshing to see some local banks offer a new
service for disinfecting paper currency and coinage. Besides defending
customers from nasty germs and diseases, banks would also be protecting another
valuable asset - their dedicated tellers, lessening sick days, etc.
Along
with Vegas now improving their odds for healthier patients and casino
customers, money purification programs are used widely in Japan, where ATM’s
sprouting clean bills have become the most popular. Local banks here ‘wishing
well’ could stand to profit monetarily and karmatically from similar hygienic
upgrades.
Until a nearby
decontamination service arrives, my recommended home-style scheme for
freshening coins is as follows: Wash your hands and filter out rare coins or
collectables for a separate procedure. Lay out a large dry towel on a counter. Place
a screen over the sink drain. Then position a colander over a large pot and insert
the dirty coinage. Rinse with as-warm-as-you-can-stand water as you shake the
colander. Add liquid soap in small squirts and repeat, rubbing and jiggling the
coins until they sparkle and the container water clean. Spray disinfectant before
a final rinse then place coins into a second container of distilled water. Towel
dry, ensuring that you’ve cleaned the colander, containers and towels when done.
Final dashes of peppermint extract or pumpkin spice adds holiday flavor.
When finished, invest fresh coins in useful things that matter.
Next tip: The importance of purifying bedsheets and
pillowcases with hot water to ensure bedbug purges.
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